Many people live their life constantly worrying about what others think of them. They mould every aspect of their lives just to gain social approval. Changing physical appearance, career, hobbies and goals have become the way to fit in. Sadly, that way people lose their uniqueness and simply become a product of other peoples’ expectations. They become followers not leaders, students not teachers, consumers not creators. These people sacrifice their true dreams and give up their values out of fear of being left out or being labelled as a weirdo.
But what if I tell you that there are some people, who don’t mind being different and freely enjoy being themselves rather than having their life ruled by other peoples’ opinions?
I am one of them and in this blog post, I will share how YOU can stop carrying what others think of you for good too! It will not only increase the level of your happiness but also gives you that juicy feeling of freedom you crave. Go ahead and explore why the opinions of others don’t really matter.
1. Realize that nobody really cares.
As cruel as it sounds it is a scientific fact. People are far too preoccupied thinking about their own lives and their own problems. But don’t you worry yet, it has nothing to do with your awesomeness! It is a biological characteristic of our brain which evolved through evolution in order to help us survive. Many studies have shown that people perceive the world from the egoistic perspective, which means, our brain is programmed to filter out everything that isn’t directly related to us. This helps us to spot danger more easily and flee away. However, that is also the reason why we often feel like the world is revolving around us and our every move is under the radar of others. As I mentioned earlier, our brains let in only information related to us, therefore if you cross other peoples’ mind, they most likely think about what you think about them rather than actually thinking about your shortcomings or failures. Funny right? It is a little vicious cycle, where both parts play the same role not realizing it.
2. Understand that opinions are only situational.
Every one of us goes through different experiences on day to day basis, what consequently affect our behaviour and thinking. Have you ever had a bad day and lashed out at someone who did not deserve it? Or did you tell your loved one something hurtful you did not mean just because you were stressed by your own problems? Well, we are all guilty. We react different in a good mood and different in a bad mood. In the good mood, we tend to be more supportive and our opinions are received as positive, however, when we are in the bad mood, we tend to react more critically and our opinions come across as negative. Because of this correlation try to think of opinions as situational rather than final and objective. Do not ever take the opinion of another person personally. Become more open-minded and consider that what other person says or does in a certain situation is the best he/she can do within his/her own circumstances. Peoples’ behaviour changes more than weather and it only says something about the person’s mindset, nothing about you. Do what you believe is right and register opinions of others’ as feedback only.
3. You cannot please everyone
If you go about your days trying to please everyone believing they will eventually like you…Well, you need to give up this thought as soon as possible. There is just no way you can please everyone simply because each person has different preferences, likes and dislikes. So unless you are chameleon you won’t be liked by everybody. And it is completely fine. Just embrace your uniqueness, choose your own lifestyle and rock it.
4. Find your true values
The most important move towards your freedom from opinion world is to find your own values. Once you realize what is important to YOU, the opinions of others won’t matter anymore. You will start to see opinions as either constructive feedback which can help you to improve or as hater comments which are not worth your reaction and time.
5.Travel alone or spend some time alone
Travelling alone is one of the best ways to find your true self. You depend solely on your ability to navigate around an unknown place. Learning about different cultures and values opens your mind and nourish your soul. Spending time alone, either travelling or not, is an important part of self-discovery. It allows you to self-reflect, practice gratitude and realizes what really matters to me. As the saying goes ‘’ In solitude, you find your answers. ‘’
6.Surround yourself with like-minded people
In order to make your life more fulfilling, don’t be afraid to walk away from people who try to discourage you (I said try to because no one can discourage you unless you allow them) or make you feel like your dreams are unachievable. Your mind is a powerful tool of yours which can do magic if used properly. So go out there, be yourself and enjoy every minute of your precious life.